| DO | DON’T |
|---|---|
| start early. | lose a night of sleep. |
| invite plenty of hot chicks, who will put out. | invite couples who won’t share. |
| have plenty of clean sheets, safer sex supplies, and hitachi magic wands. | take on the burden of supplying all the lube. |
| bake cookies. and mix them with your hands. and let girls lick cookie dough off your fingers. and then have sex. | use a spoon. or a mixer. (this is important. there needs to be cookie dough on your hands for the aforementioned licking.) |
| save your non-participating roommates some cookies. | leave the cookies in the oven until they smoke so much you all asphyxiate. |
| kick things off. there’ll be that awkward moment, early on, when no one is fucking. at that point, you should be fucking. | drink (or smoke) to be brave. |
| include trans women. | let anyone bitch about any penises around. |
| include everyone, the shy ones, the ones you don’t want to fuck—everyone. give them jobs, like handing out supplies, baking cookies, etc. | assume consent. |
| play music. if you want to fuck to it, put it on. | mock anyone. for their music choices, or anything else. |
| make noise. it should be loud. this may require advance discussion with the neighbors. | fake it. |
| accept donations, of time and dollars. when it stops being fun and easy to host, it stops being, and then no one gets laid in piles of girls, which is clearly a terrible plan. | turn anyone away for lack of funds. you’re not a capitalist pig, you’re a sex pig. |
| create a different party and give it its own awesome name. | call it “girlpile” if it isn’t this one. |
Community Accountability Agreements
Safe Bodies and Consent
Girls pile high — we’re physically close here. That means staying aware of your body and moving with care (watch your backswing!). Elbows and knees will touch by accident — that’s part of the fun. But before you play with someone, use your best grown-up consent skills. Check in. Use your words.
Practice Kindness
Be clear. Be friendly. Read the room. Say hi to the shy girl. Come through offering snacks. Notice who might want in. Notice who might want space. Take a breath before you interrupt. Kindness is making everyone’s experience better in whatever ways most delight you.
Mistakes Are How We Learn
Sometimes someone does something you don’t like. That doesn’t always mean they’re bad — it might just mean they got it wrong. If you say “no” or “stop” and they stop, that’s what’s supposed to happen. You did the right thing. They did too. It’s okay to feel awkward — that doesn’t mean something went wrong. (If someone keeps crossing lines and refuses to take feedback, though, tell the girls who throw the pile. People who do that don’t get invited back.)
Say How You Feel, Ask for What You Need
You’re in charge of your own body and your own voice. Say yes. Say no. Say “not now.” Say what you like and what you don’t. Don’t expect anyone to read your mind — people don’t know what you want unless you tell them.
Same Game, Play Fair
Pile is not a countable set of distinct scenes. At its core, it’s an orgy: a shared, busy room full of fun. Don’t expect a moat of quiet space around your scene. Scenes will overlap. People might talk while you’re playing. You can decide where to put your body and what to ask for, none of us can control what other people do.
Take Care of Materials
Clean up after yourself. Be gentle with furniture, toys, and shared linens. Help keep things nice for the next person and for the people whose home we’re playing in.
FAQs
Q. how do i get an invite to girlpile?
A. hit on a girl. if it’s me, i’ll invite you.
Q. i was invited! how do i get details?
A. from the girl who invited you! at the pile you’ll be able to sign up for the invite list.
Q. can you help me get laid? how do i get laid?
A. try the classic girlpile pickup line: “so, have you heard of ‘girlpile’?” if she has, you’ll get an invite, and we’ll see you soon! if not, invite her and another girl you want to fuck to your bed and have an awesome sex party of your own. (see below and dos and don’ts for more info on how to do this.)
Q. who’s invited to girlpile?
A. friends of friends. and their friends. and their lovers. and their friends. it’s a very special kind of social networking.
Q. why did you start girlpile? really. why did you really start it?
A. boobies.
Q. i sleep with men sometimes. can i come to girlpile?
A. yes.
Q. i am a man sometimes. can i still come?
A. yes.
Q. wait, so what’s your gender policy?
A. girlpile is for girls. for the purposes of girlpile, “girl” is a broadly defined term meaning anyone who ever self-identifies as such. it includes grown-ups who prefer a word that starts with “w.” it hella includes trans women. non-binary and genderqueer folks are also welcome. if you think a sex party called “girlpile” should include you, you’re invited.
Q. but what if i’m, like, masculine?
A. men don’t have a monopoly on masculinity. like most women’s spaces, girlpile is not a masculinity-free zone. (if you want one of those, start a femme pile! i’d totally come.)
Q. i used to go to girlpiles and it was awesome but now i’m a man all the time and i don’t think i should go anymore but i miss it. what can i do?
A. host a sex party of your own! you can invite whomever you want. you might even be able to host it in my bed; let’s chat.
Q. i was at a girlpile, and there was this weird boy there, all, like, going through your fridge. what’s up with that?
A. that’s my roommate! you’re in his house, so thank him kindly for his hospitality and offer the man a cookie.
Q. i want to contribute! what should i bring?
A. lube, latex, fancy sodas, strawberries, donation dollars, your favorite cookie ingredients, your imagination!
Q. can i bring some wine or smoke to loosen folks up?
A. no thanks. parties come in all flavors, and this one’s sober; we have a lot of Sober folks who look forward to the (rare) sober sexy-space.
Q. but i’m nervous! (and i want to peer at girls bashfully from behind a glass!)
A. great! girls are cute when they blush nervously. (and we have plenty of fancy sodas to fill that glass for you!)
Q. ok, so i think i want to go to girlpile but i’m not sure if i’m comfortable having sex in a pile of girls. what should i do?
A. help bake cookies! or come dressed in an elaborate outfit and ask 10 different ladies to unwrap you, or stand in the corner and hand out lube and strawberries!
Q. i’m into really heavy bdsm. if i do that at girlpile won’t girls be scared?
A. maybe, but even if they are that’s not your problem. bring it!
Q. are you some kind of kinky pervert?
A. yes.
Q. who started girlpile? and where is it?
A. we’re not telling.
Q. why not?
A. we don’t want ten thousand people at girlpile, they wouldn’t fit in the bed.
Q: Those accountability agreements sound… did you get them from a kindergarten classroom?
A: We sure did! Turns out Ms. Shelley has great ideas about how to get a group of humans to play well together.
Testimonials
Nice girls fed me cookies and gently encouraged me to ask for what I want. It was very scary.
It was exciting, it was laid back, and gorgeous topless girls fed me cookies. I honestly couldn’t have imagined having a better time.
Girl pile is the most fun I’ve had in or out of clothes—and that’s saying something!
I fucked this girl, and she screamed, like, a lot. It was awesome.
Tits to the wall!
I kept looking around and saying ‘that’s right…this is real’.
Was that you over there in that pile getting fisted? I couldn’t tell.
Girl pile was very informative. Turns out I’m a little gay.
My favorite part was watching a woman cum for three hours. And the cookies. And the naked girls. It was all my favorite part, really.
I won Hitachi races three times in a row!
[Thwack] it smells like hot cookies! [Thwack] fuck yeah! [Thwack!!]
Sex party rules of conduct: Consent, consent, and please bring a baked good to share with everyone.
It’s 11:35 – time for the reading of the Cherry Book!" “OMG yes! There’s even closure at this orgy!
10/10 would recommend to a friend. So sex. Much girls. Wow.
Dreamest Dreamy Dreamboat!!! Glitter! Rainbows! Vibrators!
A++ would be on fire again.
I overcame my fear of baking!
I never thought this would be the place I meet 2 other queer Equadorians.
The unfuckable porn star lipstick that DOES NOT COME OFF has rubbed off and I couldn’t be happier!
Oh god, the coatrack collapsed under the weight of all the motorcycle jackets!
Who’s underwear is that?
That bathtub really wants to be fucked.
My ass is sore and my heart is full of love!
To add a testimonial, write it on the wall at pile, or email it to the girl in charge of girlpile.
Previous Piles
Would you believe we’ve hosted 51 piles!?
-
2025 (1 pile so far)
- April 5, 2025 - fuck fascism pile
-
2024 (3 piles)
- November 16, 2024 - 18th birthday pile!
- June 16, 2024 - pride pile
- January 28, 2024 - winterpile
-
2023 (1 pile)
- July 16, 2023 – first post-pandemic pile
-
2020 (1 pile)
- January 5, 2020
-
2019 (2 piles)
- September 29, 2019
- June 23, 2019
-
2018 (5 piles)
- November 2, 2018
- August 10, 2018
- May 26, 2018 (POC only)
- March 30, 2018
- January 12, 2018
-
2017 (4 piles)
- November 3, 2017
- August 4, 2017
- June 2, 2017
- March 31, 2017
-
2016 (4 piles)
- November 5, 2016 – 10th Birthday!
- June 25, 2016
- April 8, 2016
- January 22, 2016
-
2015 (3 piles)
- November 15, 2015
- June 26, 2015
- March 20, 2015
-
2014 (5 piles)
- December 26, 2014
- October 3, 2014
- July 18, 2014
- April 25, 2014
- January 4, 2014
-
2013 (3 piles)
- August 2, 2013
- May 4, 2013
- January 25, 2013
-
2012 (3 piles)
- August 17, 2012
- June 23, 2012
- April 11, 2012
-
2011 (4 piles)
- December 30, 2011
- September 9, 2011
- August 12, 2011
- June 11, 2011
-
2010 (2 piles)
- December 11, 2010
- February 27, 2010
-
2009 (4 piles)
- November 14, 2009
- October 10, 2009
- May 1, 2009
- January 1, 2009
-
2008 (4 piles)
- October 3, 2008
- July 4, 2008
- March 28, 2008
- January 25, 2008
-
2007 (1 pile)
- December 8, 2007
-
2006 (1 pile)
- December 9, 2006 – first pile!
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to find us, hit on more girls. you might find us, or you might just get laid.